Session 1 - what are you seeking?

- the interest/intrigue/draw of D/s
- what you are craving/seeking/desiring
- type of relationship you are seeking
- how do Bear and demon fit in?
- qualities you are looking for in a Dom

RESULTS
- you are mainly interested in the mental/control side of D/s now; it makes you whole
- you need someone to need and want the submissive side of you
- you are seeking an online relationship for now
- real-life and family come first
- you are seeking a strict, assertive, yet compassionate and
understanding Dom to be consistent and set clear boundaries

Session 2 - your history as a sub

- when did you realise your submissiveness and how did you feel about it?
- your natural submissive qualities/ characteristics
- your own definition of sub and slave
- discussion of 'healthy submissive' article and which characteristics you possess

RESULTS
- you are a fairly new and emerging sub, developed from a 'bottom', it is your greatest need now and you are not happy without it
- your sub side has always been a part of you, but not always
recognised as such
- you believe slavery is a deeper submission, which you would
develop over time with the right person
- problems with: fluidity of self, conflicts about body/beauty,
reasonable self-concept

Session 3 - strengths and weaknesses

- your symbol as a sub
- strengths and weaknesses as a sub

RESULTS
- orchid - many varieties, protected and highly valued, adapt to different environments, all unique
- your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses; you already possess the necessary qualities to be a good sub; weaknesses to work on: low self esteem, overcompensating, procrastination, tunnel vision, withholding

Session 4 - 'taking back the control' issue

- ideas for working on weaknesses
- your list of responsibilities
- identification of areas which you could be controlled in without impinging on your responsibilities

RESULTS
- we came up with some good ideas for how to work on your
weaknesses
- responsibilities to demon, Bear and household running
- you have a good understanding of which areas you can give up control in; good ideas for how to stop yourself taking back control

Session 5 - cultivating a positive outlook

- areas still worried about
- ways to improve outlook on them

RESULTS
- worries mainly gone now
- much more positive than you used to be
Session 6 - your rights as a sub

- discussion of 'a submissive's rights' article - do you agree or
disagree with the rights?
- do you feel entitled to all the rights?
- which are most important to you, which need more work
- list responsibilities to go with the rights

RESULTS
- you do agree now, but with previous Masters would not have done, you were led to believe you had no rights in previous relationships
- you do feel entitled to them all, now seeing in yourself what
others have always seen
- being loved, being safe, being proud of what you are most
important to you because of your past; still problems with saying no when necessary
- you are aware of responsibilities as well as rights

Session 7 - are you a high maintenance sub?

- your understanding of high maintenance in general
- explanation that all subs are high maintenance people, but not all high maintenance subs
- discussion of quiz answers and results

RESULTS
- you have a good understanding of what high maintenance means
- you had not realised before the difference between high
maintenance people and subs
- now you are average maintenance as a sub, used to be fairly high maintenance because you were using it to get attention and needs met

Session 8 - fear of failure

- discussion of 'fear of failure' article - which fears you have,
more or less than the past?, which is worst?
- reasons for those fears
- ideas of ways to help yourself overcome them

RESULTS
- fear of failing to qualify as a sub is completely gone now; fear
of failing to achieve required standard/ be able to do something still just as strong as ever; fear of failing to please comes and
goes
- low self-esteem, and baggage from past seen as reasons for these fears
- willing to let others help you now

Session 9 - love in a D/s relationship

discussion of 'ways to show love to Master' from article
- answers to the quiz - how you show your love
- compare answers to Master's

RESULTS
- you agree with most statements from the article, some are
difficult because of online relationship, some take time to develop
- you have a good understanding of the ways you can show your love for your Master
- Master's answers very similar, shared understanding of the
relationship

Session 10 - humiliation and degradation

- explanation that there are different opinions about what the
terms mean, different people find different things
humiliating/degrading, risk of emotional damage with this play
- explanation of differences between humiliation and degradation
- examples - would you categorise them as normal D/s, humiliating or degrading?

RESULTS
- you understand that activities often drop a category over time
- you understand differences between the two terms
- you find quite a lot of activities degrading; have a better idea
of your personal boundaries now
Session 11 - subs with disabilities

- advantages and disadvantages of having a disability/ self-esteem issues

RESULTS
- you have an understanding of the disadvantages; came to see that there are advantages too

Session 12 - differences between subs and slaves

- discussion of various statements on slaves from internet

RESULTS
- you have a good understanding of your own opinion on slaves; you identify yourself and libby as slaves

Session 13 - commitment and follow through

- discussion of 3 main points from each article read - 'long
distance relationships' and 'happily ever after?'
- what specific problems you are encountering with commitment and follow through
- ideas for combating these problems - from articles and your own ideas

RESULTS
- you agree with all points from the articles, except that should
keep the possibility of release in mind all the time; you have a
good understanding of problems with LDRs and online D/s
relationships
- pointed out to you that problem is not with commitment but with boundaries, and due to Master going away and leaving you on a free rein
- you feel that all suggestions from the articles would be helpful, but worried about taking up too much of Master's time; agreed that I should approach Master about this issue.

Session 14 - identity crisis as a slave

- what has made you doubt your identity as a slave?
- how do you feel about it now?
- My point of view

RESULTS
- Master pushing you to be more than a slave, and then being left on free rein when he went away caused these doubts
- you feel that your Master is only getting part of you
- I explained that you are confusing being a slave with doing as a slave; you feel most slave-like when serving your Master but you are a slave all the time.

Session 15 - review of progress

- what areas you have progressed in since you first met your Master
- what areas you still need to work on

RESULTS
- you identified 13 areas of improvement: trust, giving up control, sharing your feelings, submitting, self-esteem, understanding the difference between discipline and punishment, acceptance of humiliation and degredation for pleasure, better acceptance of compliments, self-image, pride in achievements, secure in your identity, awareness of requirements, management of big tasks; you feel that you have made some progress in all areas and recognise your Master's input in helping you attain your goals.
- you identified 3 areas to work on: maintaining action on a task once started, communication skills, promotion of own needs; you realise you have much less to work on than you used to have.
Session 16 - needs and wants (joint session with your Master)

- difference between needs and wants
- understanding of the importance of meeting the needs of both the Dom and the sub
- discussion of main points from articles read
- exchange and discussion of your needs
- exchange and discussion of your Master's needs

RESULTS
- all agreed that needs are 'the fundamentals we require' whereas wants are 'the extras we desire'.
- all agreed that a healthy D/s relationship meets the needs of
both participants.
- all agreed that there is a tendency for the Dom's needs to be met easier than the sub's, but you disagreed that the sole
responsibility for finding out and meeting the sub's needs lies
with the Dom, also you disagreed that the sub has the sole
responsibility for differentiating between her needs and wants and informing the Dom of these.
- you identified 2 of your needs as not being fully met at the
moment: to be trained, to be heard and really listened to; various alternative training strategies were identified such as giving tasks and assignments to do in own time, required reading, daily journalling, training via email, etc.; it was agreed to work on communication skills in a future session; your Master was unsure initially that 'to be able to vent without fear of punishment' was a true need but agreed it was after discussion.
- your Master identified 3 of his needs as not being fully met:
protocols, sadism, aftercare; it was agreed that this was mainly
due to lack of time; your Master came to a new understanding that you approach tasks differently when you know the reasons behind them.

Sessions 17 & 18 - effective communication strategies

- discussion of why it is a sub's *duty* to communicate everything to her Master.
- discussion of 2 submissive mindsets.
- discussion of control issue related to communication.
- metaphors to aid understanding.
- examples of situations - which would you find difficult to
communicate to your Master?
- identification of a pattern in the above exercise.
- suggested 4-part strategy for improving communication and
practice use for those situations you would find difficult.

RESULTS
- you came to a good understanding of the importance of completely open communication in D/s relationships.
- you used to be of the first mindset, but are now working on
developing the second one.
- you understand that you were defeating yourself by holding back control in certain areas of communication; you accept that your Master's decision is final but your role is to give him the facts to make that decision; identified that you find it difficult to
communicate when you already know what his decision will be.
- learning that how you communicate is important, but feel that you still need practice with this; you appreciate the need for detail when communicating.
- you would be reluctant to communicate on the following issues: not completing a task, half-hearted attempt at service because of shyness issues, asking for a change in names because of self-esteem problems.
- identified that you have most difficulty communicating problems or concerns with tasks, service and orders; this is related to you not wanting to bother your Master, let him down, or ask for things you want.
- you did well with practicing the use of the new strategy,
although you found it difficult.

Session 19 - re-evaluation of the relationship

- discussion of 'whore' issue
- discussion of sub/slave issues
- discussion of barriers - breaking down or putting up?
- discussion of 'healing the past'
- examples of miscommunications

RESULTS
- Master wants you to play act being a whore for other Doms, so you don't get emotionally attached to them (there are insecurity issues here); you have now resolved your confusion over whether he wants you to act like a whore with him too; you feel unable to be a whore with your Master;
- you feel that subs perform physical service, whereas slaves
perform mental submission as well; you want your mind stretched and challenged; you need your Master to demand all of you (mental included).
- you are still confused over whether to break down your barriers or rebuild them; you are trying to let your Master in more but it depends on his reactions; you are often afraid of how he will respond; ultimately you want to break down your barriers completely to the point where they are gone.
- you need to find ways to heal your past so that you stop coming up against the same problems all the time; you are interested in using a visualisation process to help with this; you are really a 'newbie' sub because you are a different person now.
- you accept that there have been miscommunications on both your parts which have lead to the current situation; your Master left because he realised this had upset you; a lot of the communication problems are emotion-based; you feel that it was better when you were training more and scening less; you need practice with new training and feedback from your Master

Sessions 20-22-Visualization

These sessions are not ready for viewing yet but will be posted as soon as flame can get them ready.
Session 23 - Goals

- what were your initial goals when first in a relationship with
RS?
- how have these changed since then?
- revisit perceived needs and requirements of Master, plus areas still to be worked on as a slave
- identify specific goals for progress as a slave, plus actions to
take to achieve these

RESULTS
- you identified 4 main initial goals: to keep him for longer than
a month, to improve your self esteem, to be good enough that he would want to continue seeing you, to be the best sub he'd had; we agreed that these were general goals for a slave.
- now you accept that you are allowed to be human and don't have to be perfect, and are trying to find better ways to serve him, in addition to the goals listed above.
- you identified 8 needs of your Master: for you to be submissive, to be in control, for you to trust him without doubting yourself, to hurt, help, guide and love you, to push you, and to have you; and 6 areas for you to work on: self-esteem, belief in yourself, procrastination, taking care of yourself, priorities, and growing a sense of humour.
- we identified 5 specific goals combining slave and personal
growth:
~ goal: to make her Master her first concern and to stop resisting;
action: communicate honestly all necessary information, including the 'bad',not assume that she knows his plans or decisions,view tasks as how they will benefit him, rather than how they will inconvenience her.
~ goal: to take better care of herself and to stop causing her
Master to worry about her;
action: email daily,take medications and attend all appointments,eat well, sleep plenty, and maintain good grooming practices.
~ goal: to work on her procrastination issues and to stop taking
back the control;
action: not look for loopholes or try to get her own way,
carry out tasks promptly and in the spirit in which they were
given,ask for clarification and permission when necessary.
~ goal: to view her mistakes as positive learning experiences and to use them to her advantage;
action: keep notes of lessons learnt from each mistake,
avoid making similar mistakes in future,
notice when she puts those lessons into practice.
~ goal: to let go of the past and to live in the present;
action: accept and believe that he wants to be her Master,
trust him fully and stop comparing him to past Masters,
work with him on breaking down her walls.

Session 24 - prioritising and scheduling

- drawing up a workable schedule for your day, to cover all slave duties as well as other needs.
- questions to think about when prioritising tasks and activities.

RESULTS
- you have already devised a schedule on your own, which looks to be suitable; we discussed your difficulties with motivation and keeping up the pace: it was suggested that you make notes at the end of each session to help get you started the next time, that you change activities if you become stuck on one, that you focus on the purpose of a task while working on it, that you try to adopt the correct mindset and attitude towards tasks, and that you adjust the schedule in future as necessary.

- we came up with the following questions: which tasks have a time limit or deadline? how long will each task take? which tasks will please your Master the most? which will be most beneficial to your learning and growth? which are important to your health, happiness and well-being? which tasks peek your interest the most? which will be easiest to complete?; it was suggested that you reorder your tasks according to their priority, and focus on the top 3 at any one time.

Session 25 - your true identity

- extension of the visualisation to describe a specific section of
the woods, including the identity tree.
- summary of the article on identity.
- contemplation of statements made about you by others, to
determine if they reflect your true identity, and removal of bark accordingly.
- recognition of true identity in place of the false judgements
made by others.

RESULTS
- I described the clearing in the wood, containing a single tree
with peeling bark on the outside revealing smoother bark
underneath; the peeling bark represents judgements made about you by others, whilst the smoother bark represents your true hidden identity.
- you came to understand that our identity is largely constructed by others from our earliest childhood, and is based upon judgements made by other people; that we shape ourselves into the identity we are given, whilst the core of us, our true identity, remains largely hidden.
- we examined 6 statements about you: that you are the type of person who is likely to fail often, that you are manipulative and use people, that you are lazy and unmotivated, that you are worthless, that you should be heterosexual, that you are not a real slave or submissive; you determined that none of the statements represented your true identity and therefore removed 6 pieces of bark from the tree.
- in their place we revealed aspects of your true identity: that
you are a good achiever and make progress, that you are genuine in affection and protective of those close to you, that you are dedicated and hardworking, that you are a valuable person and enrich the lives of others, that you are proud to be bisexual, that you are a natural slave.

Session 26 - new Master/ third person speech

- wants and needs and preferences of your new Master, and how these differ from RS's.
- purposes behind a sub using third person speech.
- nature of problems having with this and suggestions for how to combat these.
- practice correcting mistakes made.

RESULTS
- you identified the following for your new Master - wants: to be your Master, owner, lover, caregiver; to make you happy and help you grow as a person and a slave; to partake of all of you when you are ready.... - needs: to be loved and wanted.... - preferences: cuddling, kissing, fondling; to keep you happy as a sub so you will be better able to carry out his wishes.
you specified differences between CrimDragon and RS, namely: you can also have real-life contact with CD; he is friends with
Bear and demon in his own right; he fulfills your needs to keep
working to better yourself, for praise and teaching of new skills,
and to be yourself and not a 'doormat'; he is not into pain play.
you also mentioned how there are some areas in which your new Master needs to grow, and stated your hope that the two of you can grow together and thus fulfill each other's needs.
- you identified the following purposes of using third person
speech: to show your submission, to show your different status to that of your Master, to objectify you, to highlight the control of the Dom.
- you mainly make mistakes in third person speech when you are emotional, when you are talking to other subs, or when someone speaks to you in real-life; I made some suggestions to help with these, namely: using a nick instead of 'she', 'this one' etc; practice until it becomes automatic to you; practice in writing other than chatroom conversations; be aware of the times you are likely to slip up.
- you did well correcting the 4 mistakes made during this session, and recognised 2 further mistakes without prompting; I noted that many of your mistakes involve the use of 'me' or 'my'.

Session 27 - rituals

- definition of ritual and establishment of the differences between ritual, task/assignment and rule.
- examples to practice recognising rituals.
- purposes of rituals within D/s relationships.
- example categories of rituals to be discussed with your Master, and jointly created.

RESULTS
- between us we defined 4 elements of rituals: they are an act done on a timely basis to keep a thought fresh in the mind, they are a representation of something else, they follow the same pattern each time and include ceremony, rite and formality, and they serve a purpose; we agreed that rules are different to rituals because they stipulate what you must do or are not allowed to do, and tasks/assignments are different to rituals because they are related to training, usually temporary, have a time limit or deadline, and usually change and progress. I mentioned that rituals are often described in rules.
- you did well with the examples practice, but sometimes confuse tasks with rituals.
- we discussed the following purposes of rituals: to show
submission, as a form of worshipping the Dom, to get into the
required mindset, to express D/s roles, to re-establish the D/s
connection and dynamic, to prevent a sub getting bored with her duties, to maintain a sub's focus on her Dom, to provide a
connection when apart, to make the sub aware of her conduct, to reassure the sub that she is doing things in the manner her Dom wishes, for the sub to offer herself. I mentioned that rituals are of particular use in online or long-distance D/s relationships.
- we suggested the following categories for rituals, making the
distinction between those done online and those done in real-life: greeting, serving, pre-sexual use, post-sexual use,
presentation/inspection, cleaning equipment, piss play, shaving, hygiene, painting nails, taking meds, eating, sleeping, bedtime, alone time, waking, confessional. Some of these you already have; we talked about the reasons for you not enjoying the rituals you had with RS, and you realised the amount of thought and planning required to make rituals work properly.

Sessions 28-29 - exhibitionism

- what do we mean by exhibitionism in a D/s context?
- what are its purposes?
- brainstorming of examples of exhibitionism you could do online
- discussion of types of exhibitionism tried and how you felt doing them
- practice of a difficult form of exhibitionism

RESULTS
- we agreed that exhibitionism within a D/s context involves showing off, flirting, teasing, making yourself desirable to others; we discussed how it is related to having or appearing to have a confident attitude.
- we agreed that the purposes of this exhibitionism are usually to please your Master, to make your Master proud, to make others envious of what he has (we used the sports car analogy), to show off to others what he has; we discussed how it is similar to putting on a performance or show, and that having the right mindset is crucial to its success.
- we came up with the following forms of exhibitionism that you could try: wearing something 'extra' e.g. nipple charms or a clit bell, being in a different position such as with your bottom in the air, having already had toys inserted e.g. a dildo, using a special form of greeting for entering Doms such as opening your pussy lips, masturbating in the channel, performing a sexy dance or offering massage services, doing something in a sexual way such as licking a lollipop, serving in a special way e.g. covering your tits in chocolate or using a tit tray to serve drinks; we suggested that you could list these and other ideas in order of difficulty and work your way through them; it was decided that you would attempt at least one form of exhibitionism within the next week.
- you reported back on 3 attempts at exhibitionism; you were embarrassed at first but found that focusing on your Master helped; you found it easier when libby helped out but more difficult when your Master got involved; we agreed that you should wind the attempt down in a natural way if it appeared that people were not paying attention.
- the most difficult forms of exhibitionism for you are: playing with yourself, anything on your own, dancing, things which are overtly sexual; you practiced a strip-tease for us and did very well; you reported feeling shy and nervous but these feelings were not apparent to those watching; we agreed that you would continue to practice exhibitionism attempts regularly.

Session 30 - maintaining your centre of submission

- 2 theories on why you feel you have been lacking in your submission recently
- suggested strategies to help get back on track
- use of visualisation place to identify aspects which help your submission to blossom and aspects which hinder its growth

RESULTS
- you decided that your weren't 'testing your Master' in this case, but that the second theory seemed to fit at least partially: your Master's lack of time and focus on the relationship recently (for legitimate reasons) has affected your own attitude towards it, and you need him to remind you of the reasons for your tasks, rituals and rules; we used the homework metaphor to explain this.
- we suggested focusing on your Master's needs and wants when you start to slack in order to bring yourself back to what is important, a regular (perhaps weekly) review of what you have done well in and what you need to focus on in future in order to identify areas of slacking before they develop too much, and use of the lessons from this session to help you identify areas to be worked on when you go through phases of slacking in future.
- you identified 16 aspects which help your submission blossom, and 12 aspects which hinder its growth; we agreed that you would present these in the form of a webpage and discuss this session with your Master.

Session 31 - service/serving

- what are the reasons for serving and mindset behind it?
- ways in which you serve your Master at the moment
- discussion of 3 important aspects of service
- ideas for new ways to serve your Master

RESULTS
- we agreed that the main reasons for serving are to make life better for your Master, and that it is part of being submissive; the required mindset incorporates both the desire to please the Master as well as fulfilling the sub's need to serve.
- you identified the following active methods of service you currently use: cuddling and snuggling, neck rubs, hosting the new channel, scening with him in front of others, completion of assignments, playing computer games with him, phone calls.
- we discussed the following aspects of service: the importance of knowing your Master's likes and preferences, being proactive and creative in your service, and perfecting your techniques and skills in relevant areas.
- we came up with these ideas for new ways to serve: taking him a drink, making him some food, making him comfortable with pillows and blankets, offering a foot/neck rub or massage, writing him something, running a bath for him, giving him a wake-up phone call, waiting up to chat with him, polishing his shoes; I suggested the use of websites to gain further ideas.

Session 32 - taking time for yourself

- clarification of what the issues involved are
- reworking of schedule and suggested strategies to help

RESULTS
- related to understanding that taking care of yourself is serving your Master, how to balance activities within schedule, communication issues involved
- need to make more tanith time, need to ensure that free day is spent properly, suggestion of temporary maximum for activities, expansion of gold stars chart, rules for free day.



Session 33 - preparation for r/l visit with Master

- purpose of visit
- things to discuss with Master before visit
- My suggestions

RESULTS
- test out compatibility for r/l relationship
- likes, limits, limitations (checklist?), health/medical issues, triggers, basic rules
- use massage or a joint shower to break the ice, keep things simple, use the time to explore elements of BDSM play and to learn how to serve him in r/l, be observant, have a safeword

Session 34 - resolving play issues (joint session with libby)

- description of incident from both points of view
- discussion of issues this brings up
- suggestions of best strategies to use

RESULTS
- from tanith's view: attention turned to libby, she had just been used to get to libs; from libby's view: she didn't want to interfere with tanith's exhibition by bringing her too far into the scene.
- importance of communication (perhaps in pm) during a joint scene; good idea for libs to get involved with tanith's exhibitions; both enjoy joint scenes with Doms; time and both being in the mood are main factors affecting play now, fine to snuggle even if not up to playing.
- you two scene best left to your own devices, without Doms; be honest about reasons for not playing with each other.
Sessions 35 and 36 - moving from online to real-life

- perceived advantages
- potential problems
- concerns/issues
- what gained from visit
- areas to work on

RESULTS
- advantages: boosting both your self-esteems, practical service, a more 'real' relationship, personal discipline/punishment, lessening of communication issues, less constrictions on time together, training in a wider range of areas, feel his control more fully, less slipping/slacking, real sex.
- disadvantages: held more accountable, need better time management, less privacy, not able to use computer to give extra thinking time, less freedom, need to memorize mantras etc, won't be able to get away with not doing tasks, all moods will be seen, health issues will have more effect.
- concerns: performance anxieties, problems with attitude and mindset, surprises issue (decided this may need to be a limit for now)
- gained: better understanding of yourself and relationship, more independence, chance to practice skills, slave mindset, understanding of potential as r/l slave, internal need to serve, progress with begging and performing, stronger and deeper relationship with Master, foundation for r/l established.
- needing work: communication skills, being comfortable with physical affection, breaking down remaining defiance/defences, motivation, saying dirty words, blogging.

Session 37 - needs and wants #2 (with Master)

- differences between needs and wants
- sharing of needs and discussion
- sharing of wants and discussion

RESULTS
- we agreed that needs are those elements which are essential to us in order to maintain our physical and emotional well-being, whereas wants are elements we would like to have if possible; we discussed the fact that the boundaries between needs and wants can shift and that needs are not always constant; we also agreed that a good D/s relationship will meet the needs of all participants.
- you had a longer list of needs than last time we did this session, but felt that all of them were being met except the need to grow and learn in your role as slave, though this will be more fully met after the move to r/l; your Master also had a long list of needs, but again there was only one not being fully met: the need for his slave to tell him all her thoughts and feelings, though he also said you had been doing well in working on this one recently.
- you both had much shorter lists of wants than needs; again there was only one of your Master's not currently being met, which related to the knowing what's on your mind issue; at the moment none of your wants are being met, but you and your Master discussed ways to improve this.

Session 38 - ?

Sessions 39 and 40 - revision of communication issues

- why communication is especially important in a D/s relationship
- where your communication problems are
- how often do you follow through on decisions not to communicate something to your Master?
- where the communication problems are likely to have come from
- discussion of 'taking back control' issue
- getting into the correct mindset
- tasks to work on

RESULTS
- one of the foundation blocks of the relationship, so that each partner knows how the other is thinking and what they want and need, to build trust, to allow the Dom to make informed decisions, to avoid misunderstandings; very important in a long-distance relationship because of the lack of vocal tone and body language.
- problems mainly with communicating wants and needs: this is linked to not always knowing what you want, as well as the health and medication issues, and issues from your past; you sometimes confuse asking with begging.
- you often have to be 'made' to talk about things you think will just be a bother to your Master, you very rarely tell him your wants and desires even when specifically requested to do so.
- some of your problems with communicating wants and needs could stem from the past, you have been told before that you are too greedy and demanding and now feel unworthy to have an opinion.
- you were concerned that choosing activities or having your opinion influence your Master's actions meant you were taking back the control; we discussed this and you came to see that it is the other way round - you take back the control by withholding information from him.
- importance of remembering that by telling your Master your wants and needs you are obeying him, and making his job easier.
- I gave you the tasks of telling your Master everything even the 'bad bits', and informing him everytime you recognised a want or desire; we agreed you would write a blog post on your thoughts on this session.
Session 41 - why bother?

- where this attitude is coming from
- reminders of a few important things
- questions to think about
- other suggestions

RESULTS
- medication issues, lack of feedback from people recently, dissatisfaction with yourself, frustration with lack of progress, problems with self-esteem and confidence again.
- remember to look back at how far you've come, you're doing well so long as your Master is pleased with the work you're doing, I feel you are making good progress (and you say you trust My judgement).
- is your life better, happier and more fulfilled for having a Master? How would you feel if you stopped serving? Is it worth working through the current problems to get back to the good side of slavery again?
- starting a blog for Me to read, discussing the issue with your Master and perhaps with Laurie.


Sessions 42 and 43 - resolving sister sub issues

- what exactly happened?
- how to rebuild trust in him?
- how to move on from this?
- what needs fixing in the relationship?
- how to restructure the training?
- possible advantages and problems of having a sister sub

RESULTS
- main issues were: he went back on his word in 2 different areas (scening with others and taking on other girls), he didn't tell you he'd collared the other girl; your feelings were: he made a mistake and should be given another chance, your relationship is too important to just give up on.
- your Master admitted that this was his mistake, he has been making an effort to keep you informed of everything, he is being much more open with you now
- you have had talks with both your Master and the new girl to establish where you all stand and the type of relationship between you - her collar is a training one only and she is with him on a temporary basis.
- main problem seems to be that he tries so hard to make you happy he ends up being unhappy himself.
- new training methods are being established, involving a return to your old persona, preparations are being made for when you become real-life, and in the meantime he is giving you ways to focus on him when you are apart.
- you could only think of one advantage: having someone else to help nag your Master; possible problems were: having less time with your Master, the potential for misunderstandings, having to share him, she might try to make him choose between you.
"Love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i really need it ."

Friday, March 28, 2008

Answers to Assignment 2 - Originally posted May 22,2007

go back and reread the log from 5/8-9, on different types of subs and slaves , read article sent , answer questions what is a sub? what is a slave? are there different kinds of each? what kind are you? etc
'psychological' submission

From the log and from the email :
The psychological submissive finds her reward in the act of submission itself. This satisfaction or pleasure can, for example, come from the associated with temporarily giving up responsibility. Or it can come from a relaxation of the need to "be herself" while the dominant is in control; she can, instead, simply be nothing, she can abandon herself completely.

#1. the emotional side is predominant in the submissive's experience, rather than the physical sensations
#2. there is a 'service ethic' - an overwhelming desire to please one's Dominant, which allows the submissive to experience the control transfer in a more concrete way.
#3. there is a deep awareness in the sub that she belongs to the Dominant, and her attitude becomes one of how best to please her Master

The slave has an internal need or craving that is appeased by the act of submission. The act of submission itself may or may not be pleasurable to the slave, but the release from the pressure of the need always is.
Mantras -
"I will become the slave my Master wants me to be"
and "my purpose is to please my Master".



From a very OLD article that this one has kept for Years :

the 9 levels of Submission

1.THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST.Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensatons rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
2.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing "slave," but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
4.TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsbility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
5.TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6.UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE. Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when she will serve.
7.PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE. Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave's free time.
8.FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE. Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)'s pleasure/well being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
9.CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS. A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with
no limits at all. I've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim.


this one's answers to:

what is a sub?
In my view this is a deeper level of BDSM than the top/bottom level. There is more control at stake, it leaks into other areas of life besides the bedroom. The dom wants to exert his control in other areas of the submissive's life and the submissive wants that too. She might enjoy being told how to dress, or how to speak, or be given rituals to perform at given times. She may live a completely normal work life and at home be controlled in every way possible by her dom. It may be that she requires permission to leave the house or have a shower. It may be that she simply has a few things she must answer to her dom to and others she is free to use her own judgment. She definitely has limits as to how far the dom can go with his desire to control her, but usually within those limits he has free reign.

what is a slave?
A 'slave' is one who chooses to give up their life choices and follow along with whatever their master decides. Depending on the relationship there are no limits. The slave has few options but to accept what ever the master imposes upon her, unless agreed upon before the collar was placed upon her. That may be both good and bad. You can have a master who would never hurt a hair on your head and you can have one that lives to inflict pain and discomfort on you.
The big difference for me between submissives and slaves is the issue of limits, and the depth at which one needs or chooses to go.

are there different kinds of each?
simply speaking , yes just as there are differnt kinds of anything else


what kind are you? i'd love to be able to say that i was a 24/7 live in slave , totally at Master's whim and mercy but that's unrealistic given the relationship this one is in and has no intentions of leaving. this one still feels she is a slave , her whole being tells her she is #7 PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE, tho she disagrees with the part time concept.
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this one's answers to Assignment 1 - Originally posted May 22, 2007

Needs -- - be sure and listen to Master's needs as well as sharing your own
Submission -- BE submissive, you are his , not just a friend and a lover , but his girl , his property, and anything else He wishes you to be
Demonstrations of submission - learn new ways of showing Him you belong to Him and Him alone
"Master" - not just His title, but His position in the relationship and treat it as such
protocols - willingly, pleasantly and respectfully follow thru with Master's protocols as he wishes them to be done, remembering that this is how she shows Him her submission
piss - be willing , enthuiastic and possibly even beg to drink for Him , show Him you really do enjoy this act as much as He does
bad names - accept that they are only names, they are not a reflection on what Master thinks of her in a negative sense
humiliation, degradation (public if possible) - remember this is a part of the relationship you agreed to in the beginning, that your embarrassment pleases Master, as well as shows Him just how much and how far you are willing to give/go for Him, if it's not morething you are up to one time , make up for it another and look into new ways you can give this and enjoy at the same time
Sadism - accept the pain, knowing He needs to give this , and that he does what he does because He loves you
To feel I'm helping her grow as a person and as a submissive - allow Master to know that His attention, love, and guidance is making her a better person and better slave
Regular contact- emails daily to keep Him from worrying , do what she sezs she will , blog as often as she can with whatever is on her mind, understand He can't read her mind and be willing to share whatever He wishes
To train - willing accept the things He tries to teach you and put them to use as often as possible
To give affection, tenderness - don't be needy but be open and honest when you need to be held and cuddled and don't brush off that He needs the same
Aftercare - be sure and make sure that you are not the only one getting the aftercare, Master's need it too
Email if promised it.- don't make a promise you can't or won't keep and try and include those things that are just as important to Him as well as yourself
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Assignment 2 - Originally posted May 15,2007


go back and reread the log from 5/8-9, on different types of subs and slaves , read article sent , answer questions what is a sub? what is a slave? are there different kinds of each? what kind are you? etc
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1st assignment as Sir's part in Our starting over - Originally posted May 3, 2007


SirPeter: I'd like you to look at the list of needs your Master stated during that joint session, and work out how you can practice or research or improve on each one, that should give you something to start working on.

This was Master's needs list:

Needs --
Submission --
Demonstrations of submission
"Master"
protocols
piss
bad names
humiliation, degradation (public if possible)
Sadism
To feel I'm helping her grow as a person and as a submissive
Regular contact
To train
To give affection, tenderness
Aftercare
Email if promised it.
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Suggests for Assignments - Originally posted May 02, 2007


* SirPeter chuckles, may I suggest that you look through the tasks at The Academy, and attempt some of the written ones? I think they would be helpful to you right now.
* flamesoul is doing one at the moment Sir , but after that , tis what she'd like , and would accept any suggestions You might have Sir
* SirPeter nods
(SirPeter) well all of the suggestions you wrote on your blog sound good
(SirPeter) the assignments, research, etc.
(flamesoul) lol was going to be kinda sorta copying the questionnaires from libs blog and answer those herself
* SirPeter smiles, that would be a good starting point
(SirPeter) and perhaps some of the questions from the journal prompts sites
* flamesoul has those , had given the lists to Master.... and once we restarted He was going to pick the prompt of the day... week ... whichever
(SirPeter) perhaps he'll still do that
(flamesoul) so would like to hold off on those till i see Sir , if that's ok
(flamesoul) have alot of other places can get stuff from
* SirPeter nods, fair enough
(SirPeter) yes, that's true
(SirPeter) but I definitely think questions, blogs, research, thoughts, essays etc. will all help you
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